working or study?

I don want spent my parents money so i working in student service. All people always said i am very talkative girl and always smile. But in the office i am diferent. Everything i do i want perfect. In the office i am very scare talking with other staff. Actually i am very scare if i face many stranger, i feel like i am useless compare them. I always want to exceed myself. Thats why i am unhappy. Sometimes,see they do things very well i also hope that i can become like them but i cant...before i working i am very happy girl but after work i am very stress. I feel guilty because i am not the esther before. Before this esther will always went to library study but esther now want to show people i can do my job well and never study....i am useless,i am a student why i choose this way? I don like to be regret...Regardless what will be happen infront me,i wouldnt give out. That is the way i choose so i cant run away... Challenging is good for grow...i wouldnt give up because i am alone, i wouldnt let myself fall down infront of people...